That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans certainly found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.